It would appear that since you decided to stop just hanging out with the ladies and started actually dating them, you have been lucky enough to find “the one”. She is your best friend, the perfect mate and every fibre in you is telling you that this is the person to venture into the next level in life with, which is marriage.
Well, nothing could be better than this and you are both anxious to get married. But wait, what does her father have to say about it? You know, there is this tradition that for a while now has been slowly getting edged out, and mostly in societies in the Western world. It involves asking your girlfriend’s parents for their daughter’s hand. Nowadays, there are those people who view this as a retrogressive idea that only shouts chauvinism and sexism.
Adapt this Wedding Tradition
Regardless of such views and arguments, the fact of the matter is that by asking your girlfriend’s father for his daughter’s hand and blessings before tying the knot, you are being respectful at the very least. The act also tells the father that you are indeed serious about your intentions, and yes, a true gentleman. In any case, most women find it a sweet act. But sometimes its not easy to come up with a good idea on how to ask your girlfriend’s parents for their daughter’s hand.
Therefore, do not hesitate to do so, but beware, it is usually a nerve wrecking exercise if you do not have any clue on how to go about it. The following guidelines will be of great help in making the exercise easier and maybe even enjoyable.
1. Speak First with Your Girlfriend
You will need to be on the same page with the woman you wish to spend the rest of your life with before you can go have that man-to-man talk with her daddy. Has she said yes to your proposal? Is she ready for marriage? What date does she have in mind for the wedding? These are some of the questions that you need to have answered way before you go face the father because he too will want answers.
2. Get to Know the Father First
Try and meet your girlfriend’s parents a couple of times before you declare your intentions. This will give you the opportunity to get to know them better and vice versa. Go with your girlfriend to those family reunions, Christmas holidays and other occasions that will provide you the chance to meet her parents. That will make the official visit for her hand in marriage a lot easier for everyone.
3. When that Day Comes, Sit with the Man One-on-One.
You can either organize to take the father out to dinner, coffee or a drink, whichever he fancies most, and have the talk there. If that is not possible, then when you are at his house, ask if you can have a moment in private with him. This is something that you will need to plan in advance. If, for instance, the dad lives far, then you may have to schedule the conversation into a trip that has already been arranged like during the holidays.
On that Conversation..
So, what to say to her father on that one-on-one sitting? Where to start? When to ask the permission? And how to ask him? Don’t worry! We will guide you through the whole steps of this man-on-man conversation on our next Monday blog post. Till that day, we would like to hear some of your thoughts related to this before-wedding-tradition.